Observations and arguments.

Regular Comedian, Pt 2

The boy says “cold water”.

His way of forgoing his standard drink of bathwater, and instead asking me to fill up the liquid measuring cup with water from the tap.

I comply, and offer him the nearly full cup. He tilts it towards his face and takes a sip.

He then tilts the cup back towards my face, and I decide I’m willing to play along, so I take a sip of water myself.

He is pleased by this, and he pushes the cup up higher, giving me the choice of drinking more or letting the water spill down my chest. I drink, and then tip the cup back upright in between our faces.

My resistance makes him angry. He pushes back, harder, and I gulp the water awkwardly while attempting not to fall backwards from my kneeling position.

In my cheeriest redirective tone I ask him whether he might not like to take another sip himself.

He wrests the cup from my hands, throwing it down into the bath, and begins waving his arms back and forth towards me in a monkey-like threat of physical violence.

I give him my sternest glare and remind him in no uncertain terms that there is no hitting Daddy.

He ceases his wild gesticulating and stares into my eyes. I can see that he is weighing his next action carefully.

He grins.

And the water he has been holding in his mouth pours down his chin and chest.

I collapse on the floor, howling with laughter.

I am going to pay for this.

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