Spexious

Observations and arguments.

Style guide

So some people have questioned (in a wheedling, elder sibling kind of way) my seeming unwillingness to use certain www-slang while uncritically adopting others. What follows, is the first edition Spexious (previously: Mookless and Frail) style guide to language:

likely to appear

words and phrases i use in oral speech (e.g. “timesuck”)
excessive dashes and parentheses
sentence fragments
sentences that begin with a single word followed by a comma
words i have made up
words i think i may have made up but have in fact seen before
acronyms i have made up
decapitalization and depunctuation
lists
“which” as an interjection
unflagged sarcasm
declarative voice to myself in the second person
parentheticals employing (with varying degrees of precision) the abbreviations e.g., i.e., and c.f.
aliases representing individuals not already famous or LJ users
multiple asterisks

unlikely to appear

emoticons
parenthetical descriptions of my emotional state
established chat and www acronyms (e.g. OMG, LOL, RTFM, TMTOWTDI)
established blog and message board colloquialisms (e.g. “i tells ya”)
references to myself in the third person

Mostly because I don’t feel like I could credibly pull it off. My writing style feels deeply encrusted by my early years on the manual smith corona. Perhaps though I’ll try on a few of the acronyms as I go. More likely (see above) I’ll make up my own.

may appear when i’m not paying attention

“and but so”
“reify”
verbal attacks on the president

The dashes, parentheses, asterisks, and commas are of course influenced heavily by the woeful fragmentation of language foisted on us by DF Wallace, D Eggers, M D’Angelo, et. al. Which, don’t hate me because I’m derivative.

Hate me because I’m privileged and arrogant and because I’ve never been much good at returning calls.

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